How to use the ‘Scaling Primary Emotions’ Chart
This is a technical document for people who want to learn to scale their emotions, or teach others how to scale their emotions; Readability is low, content is high. The Scaling Primary Emotions chart encompasses the whole of animaception theory and therefore should be read in conjunction with all posts.
Step 1 – Ensure you can read the chart as well as read this (2 devices, 2 screens or print to paper) simultaneously. The Scaling Primary Emotions Chart is available for download in “resources”
Important Note: In this post I use the word ‘event’ to include any thing that prompts an emotion including a situation, a happening, a thought (yours or others), an idea (yours or others), or a feeling (yours or others). Our own emotional response often prompts an emotional response! I will refer to all stimuli as ‘the event’.
Important Note 2: Do not confuse ‘should be’ with ‘actual’; when experiencing emotions the ‘reality’ of the emotion is the one we experience, not what the emotion ‘should be’. As our maturity increases so too does our ability to accurately scale emotions; a normal and healthy 2 year old acts/thinks in an overwhelmed manner even in response to ‘little’ events. The point of this chart is for you to help them reach the ‘right size’ but you will not do this by telling them they have got it wrong, you must first ‘get them’ by understanding they are feeling overwhelmed!
Exploring the chart
Top Row
Top row is the numbers one to five; five being the biggest emotion you can imagine while one is hardly noticeable (often not even noticed).
Left (green) Column
We will return to this column in a moment, at this stage ignore the green area.
Second Row (ignoring the green column)
The second row is a description of the size of the emotion and uses five criteria listed as five dot points…
Second Row Dot point one
Dot point one is about our actions (behaviour) and thinking in response to the event.
If we ‘react without thought’ and are unable to ‘take charge’ of our actions/thinking, even when we are telling ourselves we should take charge, then we are experiencing a level 4 or a 5 emotion (we are overwhelmed). If it takes effort to remain ‘in charge’ of our actions/thinking then we are experiencing a level 3 or a 4. If we remain in charge of our actions/thinking then we are experiencing a level 3 or 2 and if we can effortlessly choose our actions/thinking then we are experiencing a level 2 or 1 emotion.
Second Row Dot point two
Dot point two is about how we perceive the event. I use the term ‘integrate’ to describe the recovery process of integrating new information/events (assimilating) into our neural-construct (memory). Our perception of the event largely determines how difficult this recovery process will be…
If the event makes ‘no sense’ or ‘is wrong in so many ways’, then we are experiencing a level 4 or a 5 emotion (we feel overwhelmed). If it takes effort to both understand and accept the event then we are experiencing a level 3 or a 4. If we can understand the event or accept the event but struggle to achieve both then we are experiencing a level 3 or 2 and if we easily accept and understand the event we are experiencing a level 2 or 1 emotion.
Second row dot point three
Dot point three is about our ‘understanding’. In attachment theory Bowlby uses the term ‘explore’ to describe ‘building understanding’. Because Bowlby’s primary focus was children the word ‘explore’ was a wonderfully formal way of saying ‘play’ and describes the purpose of the action of ‘playing’. Animaception is a theory developed for all ages (and takes attachment to be applicable to all ages) and uses these terms interchangeably; we build our understanding by exploring, playing, and gathering information.
When the event is confusing to us and we require assistance to build understanding (we feel overwhelmed), then we are experiencing a level 4 or 5 emotion. If it takes effort to build understanding, then we are experiencing a level 3 or a 4. If we can build understanding but are not feel confident about our understanding then we are experiencing a level 3 or 2 and if we build understanding and accept the event then we are experiencing a level 2 or 1 emotion.
Second row dot point four
Dot point four is about validation, the need to ‘check out’ our emotional response with other people. When we feel unsure about our own emotional response we need to share that emotional response to access feedback, reassurance and guidance.
If our emotional response is new, unpleasant, or makes no sense (we feel overwhelmed), then we are experiencing a level 4 or a 5 emotion. If it takes effort to manage or accept the emotion then we are experiencing a level 3 or a 4. If we can manage the emotion (remain in charge) but feel uncomfortable, we are experiencing a level 3 or 2 and if we manage and accept the emotion then we are experiencing a level 2 or 1 emotion.
Second row dot point five
The fifth dot point is all about recalling the event. Recalling is different to memory. Recalling is a process of ‘bring into consciousness’ which is different to storage. Integrated (recovered) storage (memory) is mostly unconscious. Dot point five is about how long the event will remain in our consciousness. It is important to understand the mind always attempts to recover from events (integrate or assimilate the information). To do this the mind will attempt to bring unrecovered events to consciousness. When our memories cause us distress we may try to push the memory into subconscious (try not to think about them) and this requires high levels of distraction and or dissociation to keep the ‘memories at bay’! I will write more about traumatic events in a future post.
If the event remains in our consciousness for more than a day it was a level 4 or 5 emotion. If the event remains for hours then it was level 3 or 4 emotion. If the event remains in consciousness for an hour or so, it was a level 2 or 3 emotion and if it remains for a few minutes it was level 2 emotion. Level 1 emotions are often unable to be recalled moments later!
The Green Column
The green column lists each of the 8 primary emotions and, across the row, the words commonly used to describe the different levels of that emotion. There are two words at each level – the intent is to represent the variation in our current culture and to demonstrate how ‘unclear’ our emotional descriptions can be. I have used the same word in different places because often context changes the meaning of the word.
There is/will be a post for each primary emotion looking at the role and function of that emotion in more detail.
Joy, with the role of identifying ‘truth’.
Do not confuse joy with pleasure. Pleasure is the ‘reward’ we experience for gaining a truth but humans, being the amazing creatures we are, have discovered how to have pleasure without truth. Pleasure has the following attributes; feels great, is short lived, is self-undermining (the more you get the more you need), is physically stimulated (reliant on external triggers). Joy has the following attributes; feels great, lasts a long time, is self-stimulating (the more you get the easier to access), is mentally stimulated (can be externally or internally stimulated).
Joy is a feeling you experience when you get things right. The feeling you experience when you solve a problem, when you are right, when you know you know, find something new, discover something, are successful, or understand a new experience.
Joy has many levels from the low joy of getting out of bed ‘because it’s the right thing to do’, to the incredible joy of achieving a long term plan. The smaller the joy the easier it is for the mind to integrate the experience and more likely you will ‘forget’ the experience, the greater the joy the more you will talk about, share and explore the event and be able to recall it in the distant future.
Sad, with the role of identifying ‘not truth’
We might describe sad as the emotion we experience when things ‘go wrong’. Sad is the chemistry of changing our mind, of accepting reality, of having to relearn. Put simply, sad is the emotion of acceptance. When we understand sad as accepting our mistakes, and/or accepting the reality of the world, sadness makes sense.
Sad is a continuum because some things are simple ‘fixes’ while others represent significant changes. When we attempt to push a pull (to open) door we have a moment of sad which is forgotten by the time we pull open the door. We might describe this as momentarily discouraged. In contrast if our favourite nana passes, we have a long period of sad, and possibly overwhelming sad, as we accept the world as no longer having our favourite nana present.
Admiration, with the role of identifying our vision
In attachment theory, children need adults to be able to survive, and in animaception adults need adults to remain sane. Clearly some adults are better than others! The emotion of admiration is a continuum of our attachment to others. We commonly used the term love however this word is overused and under defined.
Admiration can be in a specific area, for example I may admire someone’s ability to cook, while finding the individual difficult. This type of admiration will drive me to learn to cook but maybe not from them! Admiration can be ‘the whole them’ where we are driven to dress like them, speak, walk and act like them. This is common in, but not exclusive to, 5 year olds with their caregiver.
Admiration can be intense, where we may revere or obsess about them, to mild, where we may like their way of doing something or their way of being. The strength of the admiration determines how much information we will take in. Admiration allows us to ‘just copy’ without judgment, critique or reassessment. It is the most rapid way to learn.
Fear, with the role of identifying our confusion
Many people mis-interpret fear as being about danger; it is not. There are many example of fear existing when no danger is present or fear not existing when danger is both present and imminent. For the later a tight rope walker is a great example. For the former, an exam, meeting new people, or riding a sideshow. Fear is about being unsure, not knowing. It is the reverse of, or the absence of, confidence.
Fear has levels ranging from low level fear as we go out to a new venue, to high level fear (car accident, assault or death). Fear tells us how much more practice or experience we need to be able to do the task without fear. For further explanation see the post.
Fear always has arousal (see below), or adrenaline/anxiety, attached. Arousal escalates the affiliate emotions (makes the ‘fear’ bigger).
Anger, with the role of identifying ‘wrong’
Anger is NOT aggression or violence. Anger is an emotion to which many individuals have developed an automated way of responding that includes aggression. The connection between anger and aggression is a natural one; animals will naturally ‘defend’ using physical aggression, however this connection is ‘primitive’ and does not represent the purpose of anger.
Anger is a type of opposite of sad. When angry, we recognise something is ‘going wrong’ but instead of accepting the ‘wrongness’ (being sad), anger directs our energy towards the someone or something that needs to change.
Anger can be legitimate. When we get angry at pedophilia we are saying – I neither accept pedophiles nor do I accept I need to accept them as a part of life. The pedophile is the problem and needs to change. To my mind this is legitimate anger.
Anger can also be incorrect. Being angry at the pull door because you thought it was a push door does not sound legitimate to me.
Anger has levels and, like fear, always has the emotion of ‘arousal’ attached and can easily move into the upper levels due to the escalating nature of arousal. Hence getting the right level of anger for different situations requires maturity, experience and support.
Shame/Disgust, with the role of identifying ‘danger’
Shame is difficult to describe and recall because the natural function of shame is to stop thinking!
Shame, when referring to others, is disgust; we feel disgust at smells (we want the smell to stop), we feel disgust at people who hurt children (we want them to stop hurting the children), we feel disgust at external (outside of ourselves) things. The feeling of disgust makes us want to go away, to stop seeing or smelling it.
Shame and disgust are emotions with the function of ‘wanting it to stop’. Disgust is about external to ourselves, and shame is usually about ourselves. We feel shame when we think ‘bad thoughts’ or do ‘bad things’.
Shame is our cultural monitor; we feel shame when our mind thinks about things that are against our cultural norms. And this is the purpose of shame – to stop us thinking about things that could result in our expulsion from our society. Shame stops us thinking or feeling in a manner that is dangerous to our status or well-being. Shame works so well, it can be difficult to recall shame events because the feeling of shame is the process of deleting the thinking from your consciousness.
Shame is NOT guilt. While the words are often used interchangeably, guilt is a different emotion that uses cognition. Guilt is something you might feel after you have done something wrong or after you have thought about something you shouldn’t have. This is very different to shame. Shame will occur before or simultaneously with a thought or feeling and immediately shut down that thought or feeling. Guilt is looking back at something done and feeling ‘bad about it’. Shame operates at a subconscious level and when used appropriately is empowering, making our lives easier (and guilt free). Guilt dis-empowers us and makes life into suffering.
Shame flags danger because shame is a ‘never do this’ emotion. Fear can be, and should be, overcome.
Curiosity, with the role of making life interesting
The natural rest state of healthy humans is joyful curiosity. The joyful curiosity state can only be achieved when we feel safe and secure both physically, intellectually and emotionally. This natural rest state is probably best described by the word ‘hygge’ a Danish word, but I’m not Danish so I’m possibly mis-interpreting (and culturally appropriating!).
Curiosity is never dangerous when tempered by shame and fear. Curiosity is always dangerous when individuals do not have healthy fear and/or shame responses.
Arousal (anxiety), with the role of making things urgent
We always have some level of arousal. It is pervasive. Arousal refers to the ‘get ready for action’ response where the body and mind get ready for action! Arousal includes the commonly referred to fight-fight-freeze-faint response. Fight, flight, freeze, and faint are all responses that are actions or behaviours; they are not emotions. The emotion is arousal or anxiety or adrenaline. High levels of arousal can trigger a fight flight freeze faint response and in animaception low levels of arousal trigger a ‘wake up’ response, or medium level arousal triggers a ‘better run’ response or a ‘need to get my act together’ response. Arousal can also be referred to as ‘anxiety’ or ‘stress’. We are naturally aroused, become stressed, experience anxiety, when we ‘need to do something’.
In comparison to the other primary emotion arousal is unusual in that it flags ‘priority’ as opposed to importance. As such the role or function of anxiety is to make information urgent and it, anxiety, can override other emotions because anything flagged as urgent gets priority. This is why we need to learn and teach anxiety reduction – otherwise anxiety producing stimuli (events) get priority even when there are far more important things to worry about!
Note: an example of importance vs urgency; We are feeling joyful as interact with our visitor. Suddenly the kettle starts to whistle and we jump up to make the tea. Our visitor is far more important than making the tea but the priority goes to making the tea because it is more urgent.
A key feature of higher level arousal is it restricts our ability to choose; this speeds up our actions and in terms of ‘get ready for action’ restricting choice is imperative (thinking about choices is really slow compared to ‘just’ reacting).
Arousal adds urgency to all emotions, both negative and positive. Anxiety with a negative emotions, like fear or anger, makes us react quickly and often without thought, as the anxiety reduces our thinking about options and we ‘just react’. Anxiety, when combined with a positive emotion, does the same. For example anxiety combined with joy produce ‘excited’ and when we are highly excited we tend to stop thinking and take greater risks to ‘keep the fun happening’. In the arousal (anxiety) row of the green column, the top row of words refer to anxiety when combined with positive emotions, while the bottom row of words tend to be used when the underlying emotion(s) is/are negative.
Conclusion
Emotions play an essential role in gathering (noticing) prioritising, and sorting the information we take from our life experiences. When we leave them to develop naturally they can have chaotic outcomes. When we understand their purpose, and refine our responses to match, we build a healthy base (neural-construct) from which to make plans decisions and joyfully explore our world.
This post links to…
…almost every other post!
Scaling Primary Emotions, the chart
Deconstructing Emotions, organising our feelings
Understanding, the maturity of curiosity
Validation, helping others manage their emotions
The neural construct, our ‘ways of being’
Joy, the identification of truth
Sadness, the identification of untruth
Admiration, inspiration
Fear, the identification of unsurety
Anger, the identification of wrongness
Shame and disgust, the identification of danger
Curiosity, considered interest
Arousal (anxiety), the identification of urgency
Recovery, a healthy life approach
The right emotion at the right size, healthy mind management
The right time, a cultural imperative
Trauma, Distraction and Dissociation
Leave a Reply